An Amazing Experience in Greenwich Village

My First Experience with a Blindfold Billet Reading

 

After my dear friend Joyce Liechenstein learned of Danny’s passing, she spoke to me about a man who she described as an amazing medium. She explained that he resided in Florida but that he made occasional trips to NYC and that when he did, she would let me know. I knew this could only be good for me, because Joyce is very knowledgeable and she has led me to some incredible people! Danny passed on July 1, 2008. It was almost a year later when Joyce informed me that this medium would be coming to town.  For the purpose of this article and until I can clear it with the man himself, I am going to refer to him as Medium X. I’d much rather tell you his name, however, he has requested to stay anonymous. At first, I didn’t understand this at all. From my perspective Medium X’s work is beyond reproach; an excellent verification of life after death and something I want to expose to the world but certainly to all my bereaved parents. However when I learned of a stand-up comic who does an entire routine making fun of billet readers, I began to understand his concern. Whatever his personal reasons are, I respect his wishes and he will remain anonymous. I do, however, want to add one additional footnote before I go into the story. Shortly after Dan passed, my son Aaron, Dan’s older brother was told in a session with the medium Glenn Dove that Dan would be playing around with electricity and not to be surprised if he experienced lights blinking on and off around him etc. Well, to this day, almost 2 years later, this is a common occurrence around Aaron.  Back to the story: I went downtown with Aaron and my daughter Jessica with no idea of what to expect. I had never heard of a blindfold billet reading before, but because the recommendation came from Joyce, I was filled with excitement. As I arrived at the church it was filling up rapidly. There were approximately 125 people there. Soon a handsome, well-groomed gentleman arrived who I was told was Medium X. Joyce showed up shortly after with a close friend of hers. Aaron Jess and I had seats together across the aisle from Joyce, 5 rows back from where the medium stood, approximately 6ft away from him. Medium X opened the evening by welcoming us and telling us a little bit about his work schedule and some upcoming events. Then everyone was given a small piece of paper called a billet and instructions were given on how to fill them out. First we wrote down the names of 3 deceased people that we would like to connect up with. Across from each name we wrote down the relationship that the person had to us. Then we wrote down one question and after that we wrote our own names. Aaron’s billet looked like this: Daniel Migdol---brother Herman Perl---grandfather John Oxfeld---great grandfather When the lights go on and off, are you doing it? Aaron Migdol We then folded the billets in half and a basket was brought around in which everyone placed their billets. I watched a woman take the basket from person to person until all the billets were collected. Then she mixed them up so that they were in no particular order and fastened the basket to the podium where the medium stood. At the time, all I could imagine was that the medium would pick up each billet, read the names on them and try to connect with those people. The medium then asked us to sing a few versus of “Cumbaya”, (which my kids were really balking at) when to my amazement, the medium taped his eyes shut and then applied a blindfold over that. Shortly after that Medium X reached into the basket and took out the first billet. Holding the little piece of paper up to the back of his head, Medium X started to speak. “Is there a Sarah Moriarity in the room? Madame Adolini Antinelli has a message for you.” Of course there was a Sarah in the room. As a matter of fact the medium did not call out one name that wasn’t recognized and this was a billet reading of 125 people! I sat there astounded: first names, last names, complicated names right down to the last detail were spoken with complete accuracy. Still you cannot imagine our surprise when after about the 25th reading we heard this:   Medium X:  I have an Aaron here, Migdol. Aaron:   Yes, that’s me. Medium X:   He came very quickly.   He came very quickly.  Of course Danny was speaking to you. Aaron:  Yeah. Medium X:  And Herman is speaking to you.  They’re  saying, “When the lights go on and off, we ‘re doing it.  We want you to know we’re there.” Aaron:  That’s amazing. Medium X:  They want you to know they’re there.  Someone is walking around saying, “I have nothing to do with this.”  His name is John, “I had nothing to do with this” but a brother and a grandfather definitely had a lot to do with it. Aaron:  That’s incredible!   It truly was incredible and my heart lifted to be reminded that Dan was so close. I have since been to numerous blindfold billet readings and have met 3 other mediums who work in this way. Until I attended a billet reading I used say that in big group sessions, the name of the game is “Which spirit shouts the loudest.” I have been in moderate size group sessions in which some of the people did not receive any messages. I once went to a session with the medium Rebecca Rosen in which there were approximately 40 people present and yet, every time Dan started to come through, another spirit took her attention in another direction. It was very frustrating for me. One of the things I love about billets is that everyone who fills out a billet gets a reading. And I think that for the medium it allows for a semblance of order, like the old Jewish delicatessens: take a number, wait your turn! What I found extremely interesting was that after Medium X finished Aaron’s reading, he reached into the basket to take out his next billet but Danny would not let him move on until he had delivered answers to Jessica and myself. At one point the medium got angry at Dan and said: “What are you kidding me? What are you?  Daniel stop this, you’re throwing one after another at me!” The Medium then paused for a moment and said, “Oh, bless you,” and he went on to deliver my reading. I could imagine Danny saying, "But that's my sister and my mother!" I was higher than a kite when I left the church that night. I am usually greatly uplifted from any kind of connecting up but this evening felt evidential beyond belief. We were there for almost 3 hours because it was an unusually large group, but I was fascinated and riveted to my seat. I laughed and cried for myself, and many others, but I felt the validity of the continued existence of every soul that graced our session with their presence that evening. If you have the opportunity to take part in a blindfold billet reading, I do recommend it.

The Only Solace

 

My son Danny passed on July 1, 2008 from an overdose of alcohol and prescription drugs. He was 22 years old, a beautiful mountain of a kid with his whole life ahead of him, gone in an instant due to an error in judgment.

 

In the last two and a half years since that harrowing day in July when his father and I discovered him, I have been on a mission to find Danny through any means available to me. These experiences will be outlined for you in the following chapters, however, suffice it to say that I have had vast and varied experiences all that have led me to one conclusion: Danny exists! Minus his physical body, everything that I know to be true about Danny from his inner strength to his humorous personality exists. Although he is no longer here with me in physical reality, he has by no means been erased from the universe. He has made his presence known in so many ways, through so many different means that I would be in denial not to accept the validity of Danny’s continued existence.

 

The implications of what I have just said are huge for if Danny has survived death, then so has your loved one and for that matter, so will we all.  I know that’s quite a statement to make, but my own experiences with the realm of spirit date back to 1971, prior to which time I was a total non-believer myself. Truth be told, had I not lived through an amazing healing experience in 1971, no one could have convinced me of the spiritual realities that I will present in this book. But the fact remains that after four years of debilitating illness, invisible spiritual forces had such an impact on my health that I came to realize that what I could see with my eyes was merely a fraction of what actually existed!  I was all of 20 years old when I embarked on an odyssey to learn everything that I could about those invisible realities that had turned my life around. At the time I was simply fascinated and wanted to know. Thirty-seven years later, after Danny passed, it was that knowledge that helped me to cope because I could turn to those inner channels that exist between this world and the next.

 

As far as I am concerned there are no words of comfort that can ease the pain of loss like a good connect up and by that I mean some form of communication between yourself and your loved one in spirit. Connecting up can take many different forms and is not limited to sitting with mediums, although I do find great comfort in the “Interstellar Telephone” my pet name for connecting up through a sincere and competent medium. But, in whatever way you do this, be it through direct communication, (which is possible for all of us) or through another’s abilities, connecting up is the only real solace that feeds your soul because it helps you to stop dwelling in memories of the past and to cultivate something which is better; an ongoing present time relationship with your loved one.

 

I admit it. It’s not the same. You can’t see them and you can’t hug them, but you can be connected to that part of them that has gone on and is essentially the essence of who they really are.

 

In the following pages you will read about the experiences that have convinced me that human experience does not end at the grave and that relationships between those here and those on the other side, are indeed possible and healing to all concerned.  I ask only that you keep an open mind while reading this book, for just as opening a window can allow some fresh air to enter the room, opening your mind to the ideas in this book can allow a fresh perspective to take hold in your mind. In the chance that it leads to connection with your loved one, I’m sure it will have been worth it.

                                         I Wish I Could Believe

 

I can’t tell you how many times people have said to me, “I wish I could believe, I wish I had your faith.” It often surprises me to realize that people see me as a woman of faith when I grew up with no real faith at all.  At age 18, I didn’t know if I believed in God, I certainly didn’t believe in miracles and I never thought much about spirits or what happens after we die. Thinking about death scared me and if it wasn’t for the fact that I was desperately ill, I would not have ventured into spirituality at all.

I grew up a Jersey Girl in the suburbs of Essex County in a home that was devoid of spirituality and mysticism of any kind. By the time I was a teenager in the mid- 1960’s I was convinced that there was “the real world” in which I had my existence and that everything else was pure fantasy. The fairy tales of my childhood were to be left behind and with that the idea of miracles as well. I remember accepting this sad and colorless interpretation of life and feeling as if a part of me had died, and yet, to my mind real was real, and I knew the difference!

These beliefs were held firmly by both my family and myself, and so when I was afflicted with Crohn’s Disease at the age of 16, we pursued no other course of treatment outside of traditional medical science. It was what we trusted. We placed all our hopes on my doctors to supply us with a cure. Little did we know that from 1967 to 1969 my disease would grow in severity while we pursued medical treatment to the exclusion of anything else. 

By the summer of 1969 I had descended into the depths of hell, suffering more from this debilitating disease than I had ever conceived possible. At the same time I contracted Hepatitis C from blood transfusions administered during one of two emergency surgeries. By 1970 the first symptoms of the Hepatitis C surfaced and eventually I was diagnosed with Chronic Hepatitis. I was dumbfounded to comprehend that I had another disease with the potential to become more severe over time. My doctors encouraged my parents to give money to research because they believed that in the absence of a cure, I would not live past another 10 years. This prognosis was made in 1971. 

I had heard about Harry Edwards, a British spiritual healer, in 1968. At the time I couldn’t believe what I had heard. It didn’t fit into my concept of “the real world” and I saw no reason to consider it. I simply could not imagine how some man in Britain could so “something” over there that would have an effect on me who was all the way across the Atlantic Ocean. I just couldn’t conceive of it.

I admit that the concept still sounded very far-fetched to me in 1971, however something was significantly different about me by 1971. Suffering had humbled me and shook my confidence. I was no longer the girl who thought she knew so much about life and while I didn’t believe in spiritual healing or miracles, I realized that I didn’t believe in a lot of the things that had happened to me, but they had happened. All of a sudden it dawned on me that just because I didn’t believe in something didn’t make it not so and that I clearly had nothing to lose in trying. Shortly there after, I made contact with the Harry Edwards Spiritual Healing Sanctuary in Guildford, Surrey, England and was instructed to write a letter and describe the condition for which I sought healing. It really sounded like a pipe dream to me yet I wrote my letter anyway, and my father who was going to England on business hand-delivered it into the hands of Mr. Harry Edwards.

Forty-eight hours after my father handed Mr. Edwards my letter, I had so much energy I was flying! There was no doubt in my mind that something was happening, because of the feeling of energy that everywhere pervaded my body. For a young woman who had been sick for four years, this was a new and wonderful feeling. I was not only energized physically but I was also uplifted emotionally, as if imbued with a new, strong sense of optimism! Within weeks my blood tests showed dramatic improvement.  Over the next six-month period my physical health was restored but the quest for understanding had just began.

The first thing I wanted to know was how did this “healing” take place? I was still dumbfounded as to how Harry Edwards could have helped me with us separated by the Atlantic Ocean!

Fortunately we live in a day and age where books and recordings are readily available and so I began my spiritual studies by delving into books written by Harry Edwards himself. I was surprised to learn that Mr. Edwards only credited himself with a small part of the healing, that of being the messenger. He credited the greater part of the healing to spirits, who he referred to as “spirit doctors.” According to Harry, it was these spirits who were responsible for carrying out the healing. This was shocking news to me, since I wasn’t sure I believed in spirits, but I could not dismiss the experience of energy that came to me from out of nowhere and turned my life around for the better!

Harry explained that time and space, as we know them, do not exist in the spirit realm which makes it possible for a spirit to be any where in no time. This explained how the healing could have reached me “trans-Atlantically.” Because my healing experience had demonstrated to me the presence of unseen energy, I could now imagine that within this unseen energy there could be a world of spirit. I could think of no other explanation for the healing that had taken place in my body, nor did I have any reason to mistrust this gentle man who had done more for me than all the k3cings horses and all the kings men and we had some pretty top horses and men in our camp!

So herein lie the origins of my faith. Until this happened, I had no faith. I was one of those people who didn’t believe and didn’t even wish that she could. I prided myself on being a logical, reasoning person and I thought people who believed in miracles were a little off. But I couldn’t deny my own experience, both the feeling of the energy and the results that were viewable in my physical body and blood tests! And so, I became a believer. I wasn’t sure a believer of what, but I knew from that time on, there was more to life than what I could perceive with my five senses.

As a result, I set out to learn everything I could about those things that I could not see.  I was hungry to understand how all of this worked. I started out by reading about spiritual healing and mediums, those people who could communicate with beings in that invisible world. I moved on to taking classes with mediums and booking sessions with mediums on a regular bases and the more I investigated, the more evidence I found to substantiate the continuation of life after death.

To all those who say, “I wish I could believe” I say INVESTIGATE. Don’t just sit back and wish. If you are mourning a loved one seek connection with him or her through spirit. In the following pages I will share with you the events and details that have convinced me that Dan exists and the many means through which connection has been made.

Where Is My Child and Is He Okay?---From a work in progress

                                                                                                     Introduction

From the moment I became a parent there were two questions that became first and foremost in my mind: Where is my child and is he okay? Even when my children were infants and seldom left my side, I still had those moments. I can remember watching my babies when they were in deep sleeps just to make sure that they were still breathing. Whenever I left them with a babysitter or at nursery school, throughout the time that I was separated from them, I would wonder where they were and if they were okay. I simply had to know. It was a constant theme that permeated almost everything else that I did, once I became a parent.

When I lost my 22-year-old son Daniel to an overdose of alcohol and prescription drugs on July 1, 2008, it was unthinkable for me to imagine life going on without him, not knowing where he was or if he was okay! I think for most parents, along with the unfathomable sense of loss, not being able to answer those questions evokes enormous suffering because it goes against all parental instincts! After so many years of tracking the well-being of this child, how are you supposed stop now?

I’m here to say that you don’t have to stop because your children have not stopped nor have they been erased from the universe. Their physical bodies have stopped, but the essential energy that animated those bodies has not stopped. I know this because in the past two and a half years since Danny has passed, he has come through in so many significant and various ways, that I’d have to be in denial NOT to accept that he exists.

In the following chapters I will present my case for the survival of personality after death, and by that I do not mean some vague, nebulous resemblance to someone you once knew, but the unique personality of the person you knew and loved.  I will share with you the experiences and communications that constitute what I refer to as Danny coming through.  The evidence will be displayed for your evaluation because if Danny exists, then your child exists too.

I know that each of you has your own beliefs about God. Some of you believe in heaven while others question if there is a God at all. I can only talk about what I know and that is this: there is a bigger picture that extends beyond our physical existence. No life simply ends at the point of physical death and therefore even the word death is a misnomer. The physical body dies when the essential energy that powered it separates from it, however that essential energy itself does not die, but passes into another realm of existence. I know this because Dan has passed into that realm and from that place where he now exists, he has communicated and shown himself to me in ways too numerous and too evidential for me to deny.

In the past two and a half years I have been able to communicate with Dan through reputable mediums as well as through my own thoughts, feelings and dreams. As a result I feel that Dan and I are continuing our relationship. Of course it’s not the same and there are days when missing him hurts me deeply. But then there are days when I feel Dan walking alongside me, and considering that he has passed, that’s a pretty great feeling. 

It is my intention in writing this book to show you that you can connect up with your child precisely because the being that looked out at you through your child’s eyes still exists, still loves you and also desires this connection.

In On May 30, 2010 I took part in a session with medium Reverend Hoyt Robinette.  I asked Danny if he had a message for the other bereaved parents that I reach out to. This is what he said.

 "Tell them that we may have been torn from their sight and torn from their grasp but we have not been torn from their hearts, nor has our spirit been removed from theirs. We are as close as your breath."

Losing a Piece of Me

Imagine someone has opened your chest with clawed hands,
grabbed your heart in a crushing grip and torn it from your body.
But you do not die. You remain alive, in agony.
Agony that will continue for days,
weeks, months and years.

This is what it feels like when your child dies.
This is how I felt when my son Charles died,
age twenty four years, 48 days.

To hold the limp body of my precious child in my arms
and feel its emptiness was pain that defies words.
I stood there staring at a once beautiful young man, now lifeless,

knowing that I would never again see his smile,
hear his laugh or feel his hand clinging to mine.
I would never again hold his warm body close and
breathe in the scent of his hair or cologne. I would never
know the person he would have grown up to be.

I walked from the room knowing that I had seen
and held my child for the last time ever.

I wondered why I still lived,
and how I was supposed to keep going.
I wanted to die; I wasn't suicidal - it's just that
the only way to end my pain was death,
and I ached to hold him in my arms again.

Never again will I feel 'whole'.
My whole future is flavored by the loss of my son.
A part of me went with him,
and a gaping hole exists that his warm
presence once filled.

I asked questions that no one could answer;
Why did he die?
Why not me instead?
Death has struck close to me once -
what if it happens again?
What do I do now?
How will I manage?
Why am I still here?

I rode an emotional roller coaster.
One moment I felt I was managing well -
the next I was curled up in a corner
pleading with God to take me, right now.
I went for long periods where I did well and thought,
"Okay, I've accepted it."
Then out of the blue, it hit me anew -
"He's dead. God, he's really dead."
And I began a new round of grieving.

Gradually, I found that the lows
weren't quite as low as the previous ones,
and that I rose from them quicker.
Then just when I thought I was cruising on a level piece of track,
it dropped out from under me yet again.

I did this over and over and over,
but living with it gradually became easier,
and I even found that I could live a 'normal' life again,
although it was a new normality.

We will never forget Charles.
He will live forever in our hearts
and in our memories.
Death makes him no less a part of our family.
Living with the fact that my child has died
does not mean forgetting.
It means knowing and accepting that he is gone,
but still holding close those precious memories.
It means that our love for him does not change,
but that we don't allow our grief for his death
to over-rule our lives forever.

It's about remembering that Charles would not expect
nor want us to spend the rest of our lives in misery.
My new normality is not necessarily an unhappy one.

Charles’ life and death is part of what makes me who I am.
It has had an immense impact on the way I look at life
and although I wish he was still here,
I know that I have grown from my experience.

 I remembered something the other day when Charles

Was only 2 and half years old;  As I would drive up to

The day care to drop him off, he would start singing a

Song we frequently listened too; “Every time you go

Away, you take a piece of me with you.”  Only Charles would

Say “wich you” instead of with you.  I would tell him

That I would be back soon to pick him up and that I always

Had a piece of his heart with me while we were apart.

 

Charles’ official date of death is the 7th of June, 2007,

the day his life was taken away from him.  Even though they tried

To stop the bleeding and start his heart up again,
he was gone. I believe it happened so quickly that even he

Did not realize what was happening.

As I write this, it's the 20th of April, 2011;
Charles’ 28th birthday.
I wonder what he would look like now,
and imagine him playing with his four year old niece whom,

At the time of his death was only 27 days old.  The last photo of Charles

would be of him holding his tiny new niece.

Even as I sit here writing about his death,

We tend to celebrate his birthday rather than his death-day.
To us it's more important that he was born than that he died.
We choose to celebrate his life,
not his death.
It means more to us
that he was here
than that he left.

Charles your Dad views pictures of you every day at his computer.  He has dreams with you in them often.  Your Sisters think about you all the time.  Your niece talks about you as though she remembers meeting you.  Maybe she does remember.  She loves playing with all of your legos!  Your Grandmother, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins remember your life as well.

I now know in my heart and mind that Charles’  SPIRIT lives on and keeps evolving.  He is still with us in SPIRIT every day.  The signs are all around us.  We just need to recognize them.  A song at the right time, a shooting star just as you are looking up at the sky at night, a rainbow extending from north to south as though right over his gravesite, thoughts pouring into your mind that you think are your own or your imagination, but in actuality they are his connecting up! So just try it sometime…Ask him what he thinks about a situation and wait and see what happens!

Yes Charles you did take a piece of me “wich” you when you died; but I have your Spirit with me now ;

That no one will ever take away from me! 

 

Remember?
Always.

Love?
Eternally.

Forget?
Never.

On December 11, 2010 I took part in an all day conference that was held in Warwick Rhode Island.  It was organized and hosted by the profoundly gifted medium Roland Comtois. I have enormous respect for Roland, so when he invited me to take part in his conference, I was honored. The one-day event, referred to as “The After Death Campaign” had approximately 60 volunteer contributors. I had my own table where I was able to represent The Prayer Registry and sign up children for prayer. I spent most of the day at my table, talking about the registry and passing out my new Prayer Registry cards. I left my table, however, for the two events in which Roland would be channeling messages.

The first session met in the morning between 11:00 AM and 12:00 noon. There were approximately 300 people present, and of course everyone wanted a message! As I always say, the name of the game in large group sessions is…which spirit shouts the loudest, and I knew that there were people present who needed a message far more than I did. Aside from the fact that I go to more mediums than anyone I know and that I had recently been in a smaller group session with Roland and received quite a long message from Dan, there were people present who were suffering greatly from very recent losses and had not yet been connected up at all. One father who had recently lost his son was so broken up, all I could was pray that his son would come through, and he did!

Ordinarily I am pretty greedy in these situations, but I steered myself towards being gracious and generous, telling myself to be happy for those who received messages and for the opportunity to witness the communications taking place.  I’ll admit, I was a little antsy at times, but for the most part I was a “lady” about it and felt genuine joy for those who were connected up.

Later that day Roland held one final session between 4 and 5 PM. The group was much smaller, with approximately 30 people present. Again I told myself to keep it together and to be happy for others and I managed to do so, for the first 30 minutes and then all hell broke loose!

I’m won’t try to hide the fact that deep inside myself, a woman of 60 years, there is also a little girl who can raise quite a ruckus. Of course the woman of 60 years wasn’t about to throw a hissy fit in the room but the little girl had no problem throwing a hissy fit inside my head! As if little Sheri was just standing there stamping her metaphysical foot, these are the thoughts that were running through my head:

“God damn it Danny, where the hell are you? Do you mean to tell me that I’m not even going to get one word out of you? That isn’t fair. I’m happy to be here for others but what about me????? You know, I came a long distance to be here too. Listen Danny, I really think you should be coming through.”

I went on and on like that, non-stop. I was relentless and I was emotional. Then, all of a sudden Roland looked me in the eye and said:

             Roland:  Your boy is here, Sheri.

             Sheri:   Good.

             Roland:  Your boy is here, Sheri. He says, “What do you think?” He says, “I’m just here, present, to be with you. That’s it. Let’s not

             make it a big deal anymore," he says. 

             Sheri:  That will be the day.

             Roland: He did say you get a little dramatic though, in your noisy mind! He says just be present for him.

That was it and that was enough. Dan had put me in my place! The session ended shortly and when I returned to my hotel room I had a good laugh! My behavior had been so childish and truth be told, I was able to hide it from everyone in the room with the exception of Danny who could see everything! I wondered, who else in spirit was watching me throw a hissy fit and if this meant I would have to finally grow up? 

The best part for me, however, was the reassurance that not only is Danny around, but he is acutely aware of everything going on that concerns him and me. I know that a distance currently separates us that might best be described as differences in vibrational frequencies. I can’t see Dan and I can’t see hear Dan’s voice in the room, however, since he passed I have heard thoughts in my head that I feel are coming from him and if I’ve heard this once, I’ve heard it a hundred times, “Mom, you are so dramatic.”  So, time goes on and so does the relationship between Dan and me and that is the important thing that I want to stress.

I don’t think the day will ever come when I have no need for reassurance, but I do hope that in time my trust will deepen. Maybe one day I can “just be present” for Danny as he requested without demanding endless proof that he is himself and that he still with us. But I am getting to believe it more and more and so I am passing that knowledge on to you that you may know it too.

Our children are as close as our breath and our relationships continue through all time. Send them your love. They can feel it. Breathe in their love. It is all around you. Danny says so! 

                                             A Short Life On This Side

 

In physical terms Dan had a very short life of 22 years, but I have come to see that he still exists as an aware being and continues to grow and learn. The way I see Dan now is very much alive, (anything but dead) in another realm of existence. I’m thrilled to say that from his realm he can communicate and stay very close to me.  Of course, I still miss him terribly. I can’t see him and it’s more than obvious that he’s not here, but his essence was not buried with his remains and that’s an important statement!

We bury or cremate the bodies of our loved ones and it is so painful for us because we love the body that housed this person. We even think of the body as this person. But did you ever consider that it was the personality who looked out through the eyes of that body that you loved so much?

When you look at someone who has passed you know that the essence that made him or her uniquely themself is no longer there. Often you will hear people say, “She’s gone.” The physical body is lying right there in front of them but they instinctually know that he or she has gone. What exactly has gone? What is it that has left?

I believe that the spark of life that enters the body at birth and exits the body at death is eternal and the essence of who we really are. I believe that the reason we can let go of the body of our loved ones at all is because we realize that essentially they are not there anymore. We understand that what we loved is gone and that what remains behind is just an empty shell. But where has it gone? I think that’s the question we ought to be asking.

From the day after Danny passed, I felt his influence around me. The more bereaved and painful my feelings, the more I felt his strong presence accompanied by words of love and comfort. “It’s okay mom,” I’d hear. “I’m okay mom. Don’t feel responsible please!” I’d hear these words and feel a tiny bit better until I convinced myself, with a sinking heart, that I was just talking to myself. 

Still the thoughts came, especially when I was feeling the deepest levels of despair and I was aware of this happening as early as the day after Danny passed. Sometimes I was so flooded with thoughts that I grabbed my computer and typed them out. I didn’t know if it really was Dan, or my own subconscious, a real communication or a figment of my imagination, but if I was willing to listen to the thoughts, they always comforted me.

If it wasn’t for the fact that by this time in my life I was very familiar and comfortable sitting with mediums, I might have gone on making the assumption that the comforting thoughts in my mind were merely my own way of comforting myself.  But on the contrary, one week after Danny passed I sat with medium Glenn Dove and the conversations and confirmations began to pour forth. Dan would say the very same things through Glenn that I had been hearing directly. 

Since Dan passed on July 1, 2008, I have made more than a few appointments with mediums. I have had numerous private phone as well as in-office sessions and have also attended many group sessions. I have been to some of the big name mediums as well as some not so well known mediums, and I will tell you this: When the medium is a true medium Dan comes through loud and clear and he is always undeniably and unmistakably Dan. He’s not sad with one medium and happy with the next. His story doesn’t change from medium to medium. When he explains the events leading up to his passing, or what his transition was like, consistently he has the same things to say and his recollections match our own. He apologizes for the pain his passing has caused, for like so many young people he was self-medicating and it went too far, and yet his sense of humor always prevails and he refuses to dwell on the negative. The mediums are often brought to laughter because he jokes and teases in his own inimitable way. 

I’ve really come to believe that Dan lives. He is not here and he is not in his body but he exists, for the being coming to us couldn’t be anyone else. So, although Danny had what we would all consider a short life, it is still going on, in another realm, in another way. It is not over nor has he been erased from the universe and that is very important. As the stories in this book are told, I hope they will demonstrate to you the validity of my son’s continued existence on the other side, for if Danny has gone on, then so has your child and if communication is possible for Danny and me, then it is possible for you too.

I am writing this book because I believe that it will help others who are bereaved to feel a little less bereaved. Being a bereaved parent myself, I know that’s a pretty huge statement to make and maybe even presumptuous of me to think that anything I could say might lighten your burden. None-the-less, I am urged from inside myself and from my son Danny on the other side, to write what I believe to be true about where he is now and how he is doing. 

You may wonder, “What does this woman think she knows and why would I listen to some bereaved mother? The bereaved will believe anything!” and well this may be. However my interest in spiritualism began long before I became a mother. The following overview of my personal history will explain much of this to you.

 

An Overview of My History---How I Got Here

I grew up a Jersey Girl in the suburbs of Essex County in a home that was devoid of spirituality and mysticism of any kind. By the time I was a teenager in the mid- 1960’s I was convinced that there was the “real world” in which I had my existence and that everything else was pure fantasy. The fairy tales of my childhood were to be left behind and with that the idea of miracles as well. I remember accepting this sad and colorless interpretation of life and feeling as if a part of me had died, yet to my mind, real was real and I knew the difference!

These beliefs were held firmly by both my family and myself, and so when I was afflicted with Crohn’s Disease at the age of 16, we pursued no other course of treatment outside of traditional medical science. It was what we trusted. We placed all our hopes on my doctors to supply us with a cure. Little did we know that from 1967 to 1969 my disease would grow in severity while we pursued medical treatment to the exclusion of anything else. 

By the summer of 1969 I had descended into the depths of hell, suffering more from this debilitating disease than I had ever conceived possible. At the same time I contracted Hepatitis C from blood transfusions administered during one of two emergency surgeries. By 1970 the first symptoms of the Hepatitis C surfaced and eventually through medical testing Chronic Hepatitis was diagnosed. I was disheartened to learn that this illness, like the proceeding one, had the potential to become more severe over time. My doctors advised my parents to give money to research because as they saw it, in the absence of a cure, I would not live past another 10 years. This prognosis was made in 1971. 

I had heard about British spiritual healer Harry Edwards back in 1968. At the time, however, I couldn’t believe one word of what I heard. It didn’t fit into my concept of the “real world” and I saw no reason to consider it. I simply could not imagine how some man in Britain could so “something” over there that would effect a change in someone over here!  It sounded preposterous to me.

The concept still sounded far-fetched to me in 1971, however something was significantly different about me by 1971. I was desperate and I had been humbled. Physical suffering shook my confidence to the very core of my being. I was no longer the girl who thought she knew so much about everything and while I didn’t believe in spiritual healing or miracles, I began to open my mind to the possibility of them because I needed one desperately.  It became very obvious that I had nothing to lose.

Forty-eight hours after my father hand-delivered my letter to Mr. Edwards, I had so much energy I was flying. There was no doubt in my mind that something was happening. I could not believe the feeling of energy that everywhere pervaded my body, and for a young woman who had been sick for four years, this was a new and wonderful feeling. I was not only energized physically but I was also uplifted emotionally, as if imbued with a new, strong sense of optimism! Within weeks my blood tests showed dramatic improvement. Over the next six-month period my physical health was restored and my spiritual journey began.

 The Journey---How Did It Happen?

The first thing I wanted to know was how did this “healing” take place? I was still puzzled as to how Harry Edwards could have helped me with us separated by the Atlantic Ocean!

Fortunately we live in a day and age where books and recordings are readily available and so I began my spiritual studies by delving into books written by Harry Edwards himself. I was surprised to learn that Mr. Edwards only credited himself with a small part of the healing, that of being the messenger. He credited the greater part of the healing to spirits, who he referred to as “spirit doctors.” According to Harry, it was these spirits who were responsible for carrying out the healing. This was surprising news to me, since I wasn’t sure I believed in spirits. None-the-less, I could not dismiss the experience of energy that seemed to come to me from nowhere to turn my life around for the better!

Harry wrote that time and space, as we know them, do not exist in the spirit realm which makes it possible for a spirit to be any where in no time. This explained how the healing could have reached me “trans-Atlantically.” And because my healing experience had demonstrated to me the presence of unseen energy, I could now imagine that within this unseen energy there could be a world of spirit. I could think of no other explanation for the healing that had taken place in my body, nor did I have any reason to mistrust this gentle man who had done more for me than all the kings horses and all the kings men and we had some pretty top horses and men in our camp!

Something Did Happen, But What Does It Mean?

My eyes were now open to endless possibilities. If spiritual healing energy directed from spirit beings was a true phenomenon, then it meant that death was not an end but a continuation into spirit. What a relief to think that we are not just erased from the universe at the point of our physical death and that there is a plan that extends beyond physical experience. What a phenomenal perspective, to consider that there is a bigger picture. 

Mr. Edwards also explained how the phenomenon of spiritual healing demonstrates another truth: that we are all spirit now while still in our physical bodies. Mr. Edwards explained that in order for an energy transmission to take place, there must be a common receptor between that which is transmitted and that which is received. For example, when radio waves are transmitted from a radio station, those waves must be “picked up” by a receiver that is compatible to those waves in order for them to be received and interpreted. In the same way, in order for me to be able to respond to energies directly to me from spirit, I had to have a common spiritual component within myself capable of receiving the spiritual transmission. According to Mr. Edwards, if I did not have a spiritual component inside of me, capable of receiving the spiritual energy directed to me from spirit, the healing could not have taken place.

According to Mr. Edwards, demonstrating the truth of our true nature in spirit is actually the greater purpose behind spiritual healing. His hope was that humankind would come to understand their spiritual nature and stop fearing death as they do. This realization would allow them to live their lives in greater peace. The unfortunate truth, however, is that the effectiveness of spiritual healing is not recognized and accepted in most mainstream arenas. Although Mr. Edwards presented over 10,000 case histories of amazing spiritual healings similar to my own, to demonstrate the validity of spiritual healing to both medical and religious authorities, the evidence was dismissed as inconclusive. I, being one of the fortunate recipients of this healing energy, know it is very conclusive and long lasting as well.

Now That I Accept the Phenomenon of an Unseen World, What Do I Do With That?

Naturally I wanted to know more, sense more, see, feel and experience more of this spiritual reality. I looked everywhere for the presence of spirits, however to this day I have never seen an apparition. Eventually my exploration of spiritualism brought me to the subject of mediumship and I was riveted. The idea that a spirit could easily  communicate with certain people and in some cases even speak through them just thrilled me. The first book that I read on the subject of mediumship was written by Harry Edwards. It centered around the development of his friend Jack Webber’s mediumistic gifts.  

The first mediums I read about were all British, however after years of reading about mediums I developed a great longing on to be in the actual presence of an authentic medium. When I found my way into Jane Roberts’s ESP classes in upstate New York, the medium who spoke for an entity named Seth, I was both intrigued and frightened. This personality, who called himself Seth, came right through Jane and spoke directly to the students every week.  Jane’s mannerisms changed when Seth came through, from the sound and accent of her voice, to the intense look in her eyes. When Seth took over, it was obvious! Jane was a small woman with a typically female voice. Seth was boisterous and outspoken, direct and exacting, with a loud and booming masculine voice.  At first, I found Seth very intimidating. In time I came to see both the jovial and loving sides of this being who claimed to be a spirit, separate from Jane, speaking to us through her. 

As time went on, experiencing this week after week, I became more convinced of the validity of a spirit realm that exists within, or close to, our own, but on a different vibratory level. Jane stopped holding her classes, but because of my continued interest, I went for readings with both psychics and mediums whenever I had the opportunity. It wasn’t until 1999 however, in a private session with medium Glenn Dove, that I came to understand that my father and Harry Edwards, who had both crossed over in 1976, were still very close to me. They knew about my life down to the last detail and they even knew each other. It was a revelation to me to realize that they could meet up over there and that they were still very concerned with my life! 

That’s when I began to realize that those who have passed on are not far away and that they are very much themselves, as we knew them. My father still had a fatherly love for me and was still a part of my life. Harry Edwards was continuing his work from the spirit side and was still looking out for my health. This was such an amazing comfort to acknowledge.

As my confidence was growing in the validity of spirit, I became more involved with bereavement, talking to groups and individuals about the continuation of the soul. Glenn and I had started working on a book together and so my opportunities to sit with him increased, and with each sitting, my belief in the presence of spirit grew stronger.

As you can see, by the time Danny passed in July of 2008, I was already well connected with beings on the other side. Since 1999 I had counted on regular meetings with my father and Harry Edwards. It is only natural that Danny would become a regular member of this spiritual entourage and that’s exactly what he did. One week after he passed he came to my session with Glenn Dove and he has been the most avid communicator of all. It’s a great comfort and I’m so grateful because to me, connecting up is the only real solace.

Since Dan has passed I have been able to hear thoughts and receive ideas that I believe are influenced by him. I would have thought that these thoughts were merely a product of an overactive imagination however, the same ideas have been confirmed, time and again, through reputable mediums! You can do this too, because your child is as close to you as Danny is to me. Sometimes one session with a good medium like Glenn Dove is all that you need to get the confidence to believe.

We all want to believe that our children have gone on into spirit and that they are doing well, but we don’t want to be duped or to believe something just because someone says it’s so. But after a session with a gifted, true medium it is hard to deny the validity of the unique personality that was your loved one, coming through. Danny is so Danny I’d have to be in denial to say it’s not him. You really need to have the experience for yourself but I will tell you this: It’s not random. It’s not a guessing game. It’s direct and clear and makes sense, or the medium is not a true medium. Our children know what we need to hear to be able to accept that they are truly themselves and they go out of their way to demonstrate this through what they talk about and bring to our attention. In time it becomes obvious that there is no other reasonable explanation for what you are hearing except that they exist and that they are themselves!

Okay, that doesn’t bring them back here, but it is far better than having no contact at all!

In a session with the medium Hoyt Robinette I asked Danny if he had a message for the other parents who had lost children and he said, “I’m going to give you words to say to those people.“ He says, “You know there are some people who are devastated and I want you to be able to give them the right words…the right encouragement. We are here. We are as close as your breath. But I want those people to understand that. We haven’t been removed and taken away and torn out of their heart. We’ve been torn out of their sight, out of their grip, but we have not been torn out of their heart, nor is our spirit removed from theirs. We’re as close now as we were before. “

That’s hard to believe, I know, but I believe that they are a lot closer than you may presently realize, and that we can still have a relationship with them. It’s not the same, it’s more or less like long distance phone calls and learning the Braille System but it’s so much more rewarding than no relationship at all. I hope in this book to open your mind to the possibility of connecting up with your child through whatever means becomes available to you. I truly believe it is what your child wants as well!

Jerry and I have discovered that we can experience a lot of joy from giving to others. This week we were blessed with the opportunity to provide a little girl who cannot walk without assistance, a walker! I cannot tell you how good this made me feel or how it filled my heart with positive feelings. I admit, the walker was pricey, but giving does not have to cost you a lot of money. Prayer Registry father Scott Tallman collected gifts for children spending Christmas in the hospital as his son once did, and Jessica Barnes collected warm coats in which she has sewn labels with her daughter's name. These are all ways of giving to others that really give back a priceless gift to you!