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When You Hurt So Much That You Don't Know What To Do

posted Apr 24, 2010, 3:39 PM by Sheri Perl

I think we all have those days when that sore spot is triggered and it hurts so much that we don’t know what to do.  You might have woken up feeling that way, or something you heard or saw may have triggered it, but you feel all the pain that you are trying so hard to cope with rise in the center of your being.  It kind of feels like you’ve been slapped all over.

Being a woman, it is easy for me to cry, which I thank God for.  At least there is some way to work those feelings through but is there any solace anywhere?

This is what helps me.  I go into a quiet corner, and if I can’t find one because I’m on the train, then I do it wherever I am.  I start by trying to breathe a little. My breathing/meditation exercise is outlined  at and I recommend having some way to breathe and quiet your mind.  Once I have done that , in my mind I call on Danny and I tell him how much I love him.  That, you can always do, and it will always help some.  Understand that a good deal of what we are missing is the communication that we used to have with our children.  The idea is to learn to have a communication of another kind.  Of course it will never be the same as having your son or daughter here but  it is far better than no relationship at all.  So you start first by talking in your mind to your child, expressing your love.  This, I believe, helps them too, but it certainly helps us.  After you have expressed your love you can mentally say, I hope you are near, please send me some of your love, which I miss so much.  You continue your breathing and as you inhale you imagine drawing love into yourself that is being sent by your child.  You probably will not see this energy, (although some of you may) but I believe you will feel something, because they do come and they do try.  It is possible that you will not feel anything while doing it, but that you feel less lonely when you finish doing it.  Either way, I call this The Love Infusion and it helps me.  Sometimes when I am really bereft I think I hear Danny say, “Oh Sheri”, (he loved to call me by my first name) ” just do an infusion!”

This is the beginning of connecting up, which is an amazing process when you start doing it.  Those who open their minds and start exploring this connection fare far better than those who do not.

I often wonder why so many religions will discourage their congregants from connecting up.  What could be more natural than those who still love each other wanting to stay connected?  So, we are in two different realms of reality.  The love is still there, the love is stronger than death.  In my experience, nothing provides the solace and comfort that connecting up brings and no one will ever convince me that this is not a blessed thing to do!