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Living with Loss

posted Apr 24, 2010, 3:20 PM by Sheri Perl
Loss is just pain.  Sometimes that’s all that I can make of it.  He is not here and that hurts me.
Grieving is a kind of longing that bleeds through my senses and produces an ache that reminds me over and over again that something is not right.
This longing for what cannot be, gnaws away inside me, robbing me of seeing clearly what is around me now by imposing it’s gaping hole into everything else that exists.
Longing is full of what’s missing.  Longing contains an emptiness that prevents me from being fully present for the loved ones who are still with me now. Longing embodies a pain so great that I contract around the emptiness that engulfs me and find myself lost in it.
What do I do, and where do I turn, how do I deal with this?
I was feeling this way a few months ago and so I asked Danny, (my son in spirit) what I should do and I heard an answer in my head that has helped me a lot.  Therefore, I am going to share it with you.  What I heard was this:
“Love Jess and Aaron more!  (my other two children, Dan’s siblings).
Give them the extra care and time that would have come to me.  What you hold on to you get stuck with.  What you give away will never burden you.”  And so I have proceeded to use this advice when I am feeling down and lonely.  I find that this truly helps to pull me out of the agony of longing by reminding me to focus on all the blessings that are here and now, blessings that are also impermanent.
I often say that our only defense against death is to love harder!  Death can shake up a lot of the cards, but it can’t make a dent on the eternal strength of love.   Love all those you love, both here and on the other side with reckless abandon.  In this way you will ease some of the longing that grieving produces and you will be able to give more to those around you.
So, again, I end this blog with my best wishes for your strength and healing.  I hope very much to hear from you so please, take a minute and drop me a line.
With Blessings Always,