Bereavement Blog‎ > ‎

A Short Life On This Side---A Chapter from a Book In Progress

posted Dec 26, 2010, 5:22 PM by Sheri Perl   [ updated Jan 14, 2011, 7:12 PM ]

                                             A Short Life On This Side


In physical terms Dan had a very short life of 22 years, but I have come to see that he still exists as an aware being and continues to grow and learn. The way I see Dan now is very much alive, (anything but dead) in another realm of existence. I’m thrilled to say that from his realm he can communicate and stay very close to me.  Of course, I still miss him terribly. I can’t see him and it’s more than obvious that he’s not here, but his essence was not buried with his remains and that’s an important statement!

We bury or cremate the bodies of our loved ones and it is so painful for us because we love the body that housed this person. We even think of the body as this person. But did you ever consider that it was the personality who looked out through the eyes of that body that you loved so much?

When you look at someone who has passed you know that the essence that made him or her uniquely themself is no longer there. Often you will hear people say, “She’s gone.” The physical body is lying right there in front of them but they instinctually know that he or she has gone. What exactly has gone? What is it that has left?

I believe that the spark of life that enters the body at birth and exits the body at death is eternal and the essence of who we really are. I believe that the reason we can let go of the body of our loved ones at all is because we realize that essentially they are not there anymore. We understand that what we loved is gone and that what remains behind is just an empty shell. But where has it gone? I think that’s the question we ought to be asking.

From the day after Danny passed, I felt his influence around me. The more bereaved and painful my feelings, the more I felt his strong presence accompanied by words of love and comfort. “It’s okay mom,” I’d hear. “I’m okay mom. Don’t feel responsible please!” I’d hear these words and feel a tiny bit better until I convinced myself, with a sinking heart, that I was just talking to myself. 

Still the thoughts came, especially when I was feeling the deepest levels of despair and I was aware of this happening as early as the day after Danny passed. Sometimes I was so flooded with thoughts that I grabbed my computer and typed them out. I didn’t know if it really was Dan, or my own subconscious, a real communication or a figment of my imagination, but if I was willing to listen to the thoughts, they always comforted me.

If it wasn’t for the fact that by this time in my life I was very familiar and comfortable sitting with mediums, I might have gone on making the assumption that the comforting thoughts in my mind were merely my own way of comforting myself.  But on the contrary, one week after Danny passed I sat with medium Glenn Dove and the conversations and confirmations began to pour forth. Dan would say the very same things through Glenn that I had been hearing directly. 

Since Dan passed on July 1, 2008, I have made more than a few appointments with mediums. I have had numerous private phone as well as in-office sessions and have also attended many group sessions. I have been to some of the big name mediums as well as some not so well known mediums, and I will tell you this: When the medium is a true medium Dan comes through loud and clear and he is always undeniably and unmistakably Dan. He’s not sad with one medium and happy with the next. His story doesn’t change from medium to medium. When he explains the events leading up to his passing, or what his transition was like, consistently he has the same things to say and his recollections match our own. He apologizes for the pain his passing has caused, for like so many young people he was self-medicating and it went too far, and yet his sense of humor always prevails and he refuses to dwell on the negative. The mediums are often brought to laughter because he jokes and teases in his own inimitable way. 

I’ve really come to believe that Dan lives. He is not here and he is not in his body but he exists, for the being coming to us couldn’t be anyone else. So, although Danny had what we would all consider a short life, it is still going on, in another realm, in another way. It is not over nor has he been erased from the universe and that is very important. As the stories in this book are told, I hope they will demonstrate to you the validity of my son’s continued existence on the other side, for if Danny has gone on, then so has your child and if communication is possible for Danny and me, then it is possible for you too.